We managed to track down yet another VHS copy of the old Shooting Outdoors program, starring our friend Manny Mansfield. In this episode, Manny tells us why the M1 Garand is and always will be the best rifle ever made.

If you want the sad, watered-down, no fun version, you could read the transcript below, but Manny is properly enjoyed in video form.

The M1 Garand is the greatest battle implement ever devised. Those words are as true today as when they were first spoken by General Patton in 1945. Whether it’s defending your homestead or defending the homeland, no other rifle beats the classic M1.

This all-American favorite first came to life in the early 1930s. John C. Garand designed it for the US government free of charge as a way of apologizing for being Canadian. The Garand went on to arm our boys in World War II, ensuring an Allied victory. Those Japanese and Germans never knew what hit ‘em thanks to the semi-automatic action. That’s eight shots of .30-06 as quick as you can pull the trigger.

Later rifles like the M14 and M16 have extended clips that hold even more than eight rounds. Normally, I’d say bigger is better, but I never really saw the need for all that ammo. The M1 Garand separates the riflemen from the rifle boys. If you can’t get the job done in eight shots, it might be time to head back to the practice range.

In those rare circumstances that call for more firepower, the M1 comes with its own early warning system. When the last round is fired, the clip ejects from the action with that signature sound the Garand is famous for. That ping lets you know the music has stopped, but the song isn’t over yet. It’s time for your Colt to come out and play a solo with 8 man-stopping rounds of .45 ACP!

Some of the misguided young fellows at my local shooting club have taken a liking to the M1 Carbine. Think of this handy little piece as a miniaturized version of the M1 Garand. It was designed for backup support personnel like jeep drivers, chaplains, and pacifists.

It feeds from 15 or 30-shot clips. Why so many rounds? Some say it’s because the .30 Carbine cartridge is weak and ineffective. Or it could be that you just can’t expect a panty-waisted draft-dodger to learn much during marksmanship training.

The carbine is feather light. That’s convenient if you’re arming nurses and secretaries. But I like my rifles heavy. Heavy means reliable. Because even if the gun jams, I know for sure I’ve still got a 10-pound club ready to finish what I started.

Let’s try a little experiment. We’re going to see how this German helmet holds up against the little M1 Carbine. Then we’ll give it all we’ve got with the M1 Garand.

*Manny fires the M1 Carbine. The bullet makes a neat hole completely through the helmet.*

Not bad. Now let’s try the real M1.

*Manny rushes the helmet and pounds it to death with the butt of the Garand before dumping eight rounds into it at point blank range.*

Now that’s one dead Nazi.

The results are clear. The M1 Garand is more than a rifle. It’s the purest embodiment of the American fighting spirit. If you plan to go into a fight with nothing more than a carbine, you may as well skip the long gun altogether and just carry a pistol. And everyone knows a pistol is best used for fighting your way back to a real rifle.

But you don’t need a rifle to fight your way to big savings! Get the best prices on ammunition and accessories when you shop from the comfort of your own home with Lucky Gunner. Call today for your free catalog. I’m Manny Mansfield, thanks for watching Shooting Outdoors.

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