Unfortunately, our friend and colleague, Walter “Manny” Mansfield was unable to make it to Vegas to report to us for SHOT Show this year. The good news it that we have discovered yet another classic Manny Mansfield tape in the company archives. This time, Mr. Mansfield gives us some critical Tactical Tips for how to defend your home.
If you have any interest at all in personal protection, these tapes are an absolute gold mine of practical advice. Pay close attention!
For those who hate fun and don’t enjoy hearing Manny’s dulcet tones in video form, you can read the transcript below. But Manny’s going to judge you for it.
Manny Mansfield here from Shooting Outdoors, reporting to you today from indoors to talk about home defense in a special segment we like to call “Tactical Tips.”
As you can imagine, I get a lot of fan mail asking me what gun to buy for home defense. It’s hard to go wrong with a good old 12 gauge pump action. Just rack the action and watch the bad guys freeze in their tracks.
While they’re distracted, hit ‘em with a double tap of buckshot before they get away. If you shoot first, there’s no one to ask questions later.
If you have to check your home for intruders, move as quietly as possible. Quiet is tactical. Tactical is smooth. Smooth is slow. Slow is fast. Fast is deadly. And it’s better to be deadly than dead. Dead is bad.
In the bedroom, it might be tough to keep a 12 gauge within arm’s reach. A .44 Magnum makes for a handy nighttime gun. You can stash it under your pillow, but I like to keep mine on top of the pillow so I know it’s always ready to rock and roll. Remember: a home defense gun should be comforting, not comfortable. Go ahead, make my… night.
The best defense is a good defense, so always be extra defensive about your neighborhood. Keep an eye out for suspicious outsiders. How do you know if someone is suspicious? Look for these dead giveaways:
- Men with long hair or jewelry
- People who use swear words in public
- Foreigners from disreputable places like Massachusetts
- Followers of objectionable religions, such as–
[Editor’s Note: Modern viewers are not prepared to hear Manny’s true opinion on this topic]
Rub a dub dub, it’s three men with a club! You’re in the bath and your home is under attack. What do you do? Don’t get caught with your pants down. Always bring along a shower gun. All you have to do is thread a string through the trigger guard of your favorite pistol. Then you can safely bathe in well-armed comfort.
Men, don’t leave your wife defenseless while she prepares the family meals. Make sure the little lady of the house has her own kitchen gun. Or even two. Colt in the cupboard? Check! Magnum in the microwave? Now you’re really cooking!
The worst thing you can possibly do in a night time home invasion is to give away your position. Be sure to keep your home as dark as possible. If you hear strange noises at night, keep the lights off and leave the flashlight behind.
Just grab your 12 gauge and blast away in the general direction of the disturbance. The spread is sure to plant at least a few pellets into anyone who doesn’t belong.
Now, you may be thinking: “What if it’s my wife? Or one of my children?” Remember, you can always get a new family, but you can never get a new tactical advantage.
What kind of shells should you load in your 12 gauge? Birdshot’s okay for warning shots, but we might have to strike a heavier blow in case they don’t get the message. Buckshot usually does the trick and bigger is always better. Don’t even bother with anything less than a 3-inch magnum.
My preferred shell is a custom 4 and a half inch Mega-Magnum Manstopper. It packs a real punch with 12 pellets of #00 buckshot followed by a one-ounce slug, and capped off with a half-inch stick of dynamite.
Let’s give it a try. We’ll pretend these cans of creamed corn represent 200 pounds of pure human evil. One blast from a Mega-Magnum Manstopper and it’s game over, bad guys.
Works like a charm. I think that’s enough Tactical Tips for one day. Until next time, I’m Manny Mansfield for Shooting Outdoors. Thanks for watching.